The 18 Stages of Trying to Leave the House for a Night Out

You’ve planned a night out, but you’ve stopped for a few drinks at someone’s house beforehand. The tunes and the drinks are in full flow, everyone is having a good time. The trouble is, they’re having such a good time that they won’t leave. If you don’t get going in the next ten minutes, you’ll miss free entry. A lot is at stake here.

  1. You glance at the clock and realise that time’s getting a bit short, so you ask if anyone’s keen to get going soon. A couple of them nod, a few make some vague gesture of approval. The majority do not stir.
  2. You let it rest for a few minutes, then ask if you should think about booking a taxi soon? It’s fine, we’re happy to walk, they say. This could be tricky.
  3. You try ambushing people individually instead, and successfully gather a few extra recruits.
  4. The word is spreading. This is good.
  5. Some people look like they may be getting up. Your hopes are raised.
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  6. Your hopes are dashed. They sat back down again.
  7. Now even your trusty recruits have given up and sat back down. You’re on your own.
  8. You give up and sit back down.
  9. You eventually decide to go and get your things, and then stand expectantly by the door. All you need is one person ready to leave and the rest will follow, no?
  10. Nope.
  11. Someone is joining you!
  12. Now someone else is, too!
  13. This is it! Everyone is here. You thought this moment might never come, you-
  14. -Karen is sitting back down.
  15. Karen?
  16. And she’s up again. Success at last! Is everyone here? Yes? What a day to be alive.
  17. You arrive at the club.
  18. You lost Karen.
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Image sources: Giphy/ sharegif.com/ Deforest: Tumblr. Cover image by Shana Frase via Pinterest.

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